Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Seriously, the WORST listing in Sherman Oaks.

Okay, I've scoffed openly at listings before. But this one takes the cake. I am not kidding you, Peeps. This is by far and away the MOST delusional listing I have seen in my year of scouring the MLS. The description is so hilarious, I have to post it first:

"First time buyer's [sic] don't delay!"

Translation:
"First time buyers" = People born yesterday.
"don't delay" = Because if you took the time to open a newspaper or talk to just about anybody, you would change your mind about buying this house.

"Great opportunity to buy in sherman oaks [sic]."

Translation:
"Great opportunity" = This is literally true, it is a great opportunity (if you are the seller and you can find a big enough sucker).

"This fashion square [sic] traditional home offers original charm & more."

Translation:
"original charm" = No improvements.
"charm & more" = No improvements.

"Great for owner user [sic] to add & build home."

Translation:
Okay, I have no idea what an "owner user" is, but I can tell you that "add & build home" means you will have to tear down this home and start from scratch building yours.

Without further ado, I give you:


13964 MORRISON STREET, Sherman Oaks, CA 91423
(MLS #: F1757259 )



Bedrooms: 3
Full Baths: 1
Square Feet: 1,122
Lot Size: 5,900 Sq. Ft.
Year Built: 1948
Listing Date: 03/05/08
List Price: $975,000

You read that correctly. This house is $869/sq.ft. despite the fact that it has one bathroom and it is the same size as an average one bedroom apartment. It has no view. It is not close to the beach and it is not in the hills. Finally, it does not appear to have undergone any improvements since it sold at the peak of the market for $650k. At the peak of the market!

Sweet fancy Moses. What are they thinking?

UPDATE: An eagle-eyed reader points out that this house is actually a McMansion now. Here's the current listing. But I stand by my position that this is the WORST listing ever. The listing photo is of the original house. The list price is not for the last sale (which was $650k) and it is not the currently offered price ($1.3M). So what the hell? And will anybody even remotely consider paying over a million dollars for a 5,900 sq. ft. lot that's Van Nuys adjacent?

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

This place sold for $650K in Dec 2006, and that's a bubble price! They literally set their starting price to just be 50% higher than they paid, which is a joke.

Ever heard of checking the comps? This smacks of either "well, I don't want to move, but if some idiot will pay this price, I will" or a really bad realtor.

$659,000
4725 Calhoun AVE 0.38 miles
3 bd / 2 ba
1,412 Sq. Ft.
4560 Stansbury AVE, Sherman Oaks, CA $490,000
4560 Stansbury AVE 0.44 miles
3 bd / 1 ba
1,026 Sq. Ft.
4743 Buffalo AVE, Sherman Oaks, CA $649,000
4743 Buffalo AVE 0.46 miles
2 bd / 2 ba
1,376 Sq. Ft.
14040 Milbank ST, Sherman Oaks, CA $699,000
14040 Milbank ST 0.53 miles
2 bd / 1 ba
1,160 Sq. Ft.
5238 Woodman ST, Sherman Oaks, CA $564,900
5238 Woodman ST 0.54 miles
3 bd / 2 ba
1,258 Sq. Ft.

Anonymous said...

Kate, this is like those POS bubble-priced SFBay houses on Burbed.com. There's a running joke on that blog about how "this is the Bay Area, and prices deserve to go up 20% a year even if your debt-to-income ratio is 60%!" This person is even more ambitious!

Anonymous said...

Kate, this is a McMansion.

http://13964morrisonst.com/

5 bedrooms, 5.5 baths, 2 stories.

You have old info. The old house was torn down and this monstrosity was erected.

Anonymous said...

According to the LA County Assessor, the house has 5 bedrooms and 6 baths in 3669 square feet.

http://assessormap.co.la.ca.us/mapping/viewer.asp


Zillow's Zestimate is $1,154,500.

Anonymous said...

Very bizarre, since ZipRealty clearly shows the pic, description, price and relatively new listing (3/5/08) as Kate describes. Well, perhaps a do-gooder decided to improve S.O. by tearing down the ugly McMansion and replacing it with a, uh, vintage tract house ;-)

Tyrone said...

From http://13964morrisonst.com/ take a look at the first two exterior shots. Look at the house next door. Those two houses are not the same. Looks like they doctored the first shot to make the house next door look larger. If this is true, this house will stick out like a sore thumb.

Just checked Google maps, streetview. The new house isn't there yet, but I can't exactly say I can pick out the old house. Weird. Check it out, baby-Kates. (Get it; rather than "baby-cakes")

Anonymous said...

Also check this out:

http://13932hesbystreet.com/

It's an identical house two blocks north of the Morrison house.

Anonymous said...

Check out the garage door on the two exterior shots of http://13964morrisonst.com/ One is an arched door, the other not. I think they have mixed up exterior photos of it and http://13932hesbystreet.com/

The photo of the agent on the pages is, well, interesting....

Anonymous said...

I don't know if this will work but here it is...Photo of current house

ProblemWithCaring said...

@ anon 9:58

Wow! Thanks for the street view link: you can see that the tract house next door was also razed for an even BIGGER McMansion, so the neighbors won't mind.

The one next door is by far the bigger eyesore. It looks like a FAUX arabian palace in Beverly Hills. pretty ugly on the outside.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Google has street-viewed the entire Valley. This must have happened in the last week or so. I was checking out street view two weeks ago and only the main streets were available.

Anonymous said...

Hey, didn't I see that kitchen on TV? I think it was CSI. Only it wasn't a kitchen, it was the morgue. A nice big island for doing autopsies. A couple of sub-zeros for holding the john does until they crack the case. Seriously, this house has all the warmth of a coroner's office.