As y'all know, I've been doing guest posts over at L.A. Land. Some posts I think will generate a lot of feedback and other posts I think will go without much notice. My last post was about some features that I like in a house (a porch, a deck and newer electrical/plumbing/roof) and figured there wouldn't be very many comments. I couldn't have been more wrong. People flipped the hell out (and by "people" I mean "real estate agents" and "home owners"). They left over 80 comments so far but only two or three are about house features. To spare you the chore of sifting through them all, I've harvested the angry gems.
One guy accused me of being a transvestite -- not that there's anything wrong with that -- I just can't see how wanting a front porch brings somebody's gender identity into question. He wrote:
"I feel like you're scamming me. You sound like a middle-aged male Realtor in drag. Why not fess-up and stop the pathetic story of deception! At least come up with a new photo....
Just a little advice. You're living in fantasy land. Most people trying to get in this market would take a Maytag box on 3000 sq ft lot just to get in.
"...So before you start with the 'I'll pay extra so I don't have to deal with the problems.' Why don't you ask 'Mr. Kate' how many extra hours he wants to work per week so you can have your perfect cabinets, typical spoiled brat.AnnS, who elsewhere states she is a retired attorney and currently a commercial broker, draws the conclusion that I do not like fixers (which y'all know I love) and goes on to call me: a bore, a nitwit, spoiled, and a shallow, unrealistic brat. Again, this is all because I want a porch, a deck, and a credit for dead tree removal. You will note that she is very focused on interior decor, something I made no mention of in the post. Behold:
"I want this, I want that, I want simply everything..... and god forbid I would have to lift a paintbrush to get it, I might break a nail."
What a crashing bore 'Kate' is.
Anyone without such an overblown grandiose sense of entitlement would know that interior decor is something which you just assume you will change...This little nitwit was throwing a fit a few weeks ago about how she could't [sic] get the cotract [sic] restructured to show a lower purchase price to save on real estate taxes by paying the realtors [sic] seperately [sic].
... this spoiled shallow and unrealistic brat wants it flawless"
Frankly, I suspect there's a bit more in her coffee than just cream and sugar, if you know what I mean. AnnS goes on to tell a charming tale about how she threatened to kill a potential buyer in the course of closing one of her own deals:
"She reminds me of a buyer in a commercial real estate transaction we handled were we represented seller. It was a turnkey retail business in full operation and was being sold to an employee. After running through 3 loan offers (all of which he got in succession, all wonderful deals with financing at 125% of asset value...) because he 'could do better', it finally got to closing. Buyer then started hemming and hawing about finishing up the transaction because when he had been to the facility that AM, a light bulb had been burned out in a storage room. It had been over 8 hours trying to close it - and the title company was stunned at how much time it was taking. I threw the $1 at him for a light bulb and roared 'Sign the damn documents or I will personally break you neck after I grab your hand and make you sign it! ENOUGH!! You work there so you know what you are buying.' He signed.
Posted by: AnnS | August 24, 2007 at 07:48 AM"Another commenter suggests that, because I am not willing to buy at today's prices, I should have my head examined and E should dump me and nobody should sell their house to me:
"...She needs a shrink to help her to deal with her obsessive behavior of shopping and not a house. If I were MR. Kate, I would've probably dumped her by now and if I were the seller, I would never sell to someone like her.
You chased the market up, now you'll chase it down and will not by anything. I sure hope you prove me wrong, because I sure hope not to see anymore posts about you on this blog.
One faithful LA Land commenter declares that E is a figment of my imagination and that I am broke. He also appears to be under the mistaken impression that I run advertising here at May 5 and that is my primary source of revenue. He writes:
"Ann S, you and I are totally sympatico [sic] on this one- Kate will never find what she wants because she and the dubious Mr. Kate (probably doesn't exist) don't have the budget for it. Instead of waking up to the reality she comes here and whines. I suspect that she's hoping her little blog will generate enough Google Ads revenue to propel in into the financial position she'll need to be in afford her dream home.Posted by: vultur | August 24, 2007 at 10:28 AM"
Later, he decides he has more to say about my interest in front porches:
Yet Kate still can't find a home she deems worthy of her enormous self-image. It's not the home that overpriced- it's Kate's self-importance that's inflated!
I bet she can't wait to through [sic] her first dinner party and gloat to her friends how she snatched her dream property away from some poor flipper fool caught in the credit crunch.
Kate, I've got a perfect house for you babe and I'm certain you'll love it- it's called 'Barbie's Dream House' and you can customize it any way your little heart desires. You can even invite your husband Ken to come play with you. And the two of you with live happily ever after in your perfect house in your perfect world on your perfect little slice of