Monday, October 30, 2006

Pumpkins! (Y1/M6/D31)

These are two of the three pumpkins that E and I carved this year. He did the traditional on the left, I did the "pupkin" on the right. (PUPkin! See what I did there?) Anyhboodle, there was a third pumpkin on which I thought I'd drive the point home by carving: "ARF!" But I kept getting confused about which parts were to be cut away and which parts were supposed to be left solid. (What do ya want for freehand? Sheesh.) El Sid clearly did not approve of the ARF pumpkin, as shown below.

Ultimately, all that pupkinny goodness wore out good ole Sid:

Sweet dreams, Y'all.

LED Halloween Decorations (Y1/M6/D30)

Hey! Learn to make your own LED Lego Halloween decorations at Evil Mad Scientist. So awesome!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Sid Ate the Curtains (Y1/M6/DS26)

Sorry it's been so quiet on the blog lately but between work, the puppy, and everything else, it's been crazy busy for us.

So El Sid has been really difficult lately. She has gone from a sweet fluffy 14 pound bundle of puppyness to 30 pounds of chewing fury. Yeah. She doubled in size in about three weeks. Anyhoodle, it appears that she is in the doggy equivalent of The Terrible Twos. Accordingly, we have taken to repeatedly reminding her that: (1) we are not her real parents, we adopted her; and (2) we kept the receipt. Of course, this seems to have virtually no effect upon her. Por exemplar, last night she tore down the curtains on the French doors in the kitchen.

I might have been more upset if E hadn't upstaged her. Allow me to illustrate with a brief recitation of the day's events.

At the end of the work day I get an email from E advising me that El Sid is not, in fact, a fan of the kitchen curtains and, because she cannot actually speak English, she has chosen to express her distaste for the curtains in a more physical way. I leave work a wee bit depressed over El Sid's regression and transgression both. To cheer myself up I decided to stop at Target (we needed milk anyway). As I roam past the window treatments aisle I remember that I have A Very Bad Dog and call E to see if I should get new curtains.

He informs me that he does not know whether the curtains are torn because when he found them on the floor he threw them straight into the washer. I press further and ask if he thinks they might be ruined, he informs that he does not think they are. "Well, right," I tell myself, "if they were obviously in bad shape he wouldn't bother washing them so at worst maybe there's a puncture mark or two." I forego purchasing replacements. When I get home and walk into the kitchen I find the French doors as naked as the day they were installed and the neighbors waving at us from the street below apparently amused by the new fishbowl aesthetic of our kitchen.

"Where are the curtains?" I inquire.
"I told you on the phone! They're in the washer." replies E.
"That was an hour ago. They should be done." I explain.
"I didn't turn it on." says he.
"What? Why not?"
"I didn't know what setting."
"Why didn't you just ask me when I called from Target?"
... silence...

I start the washer. When it finishes I remove the curtains to find... can you guess? Shredded curtains. How does he not notice they are shredeed before throwing them in the wash? He does not know. If the washer was not on when I phoned from Target, why couldn't he just open it up and check to see if they curtains were in fact shredded? He does not know!

So, you can see why I have precious little free time these days to update blogs and such.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

DAY 166

This is my $35 Halloween costume. Uh, yeah, E picked it out (recall that E is a huge Superman fan). The problem with ready-made costumes is that they look crappy straight out of the bag and require some modifications. The most glaring problem with this costume is that I don't have Superhair (and everybody knows that Supergirl has Superhair). And I wasn't about to pay $500 for hair extentions so I decided to make my own. (Shuddup. I like Halloween.) Anyway it only cost me about $20 and took about half an hour of my time. On the left is my "before" and on the right is my "after."

It's not a perfect match but it's a lot better than those Halloween wigs and it was pretty easy. In case you want to make your own, here's what you need to buy:

(1) a butterfly clip fake ponytail that matches your hair color
(2) four to six hair extention barrettes
(3) scissors
(4) a needle and thread.

First, you need to break the plastic butterfly clip to get the fake hair off. It will be in a fishnet weft when you get it off and you will need to cut this weft into small sections.

This photo shows the fishnet weft separated from the butterfly clip (and after I cut out the first section).

This photo shows the cutaway section. Note that you want to cut as close to where the seams form an "x" and not just in the middle of straight bar. Some strands will inevitably be lost, but ultimately it's not noticable.

The extention clips have little holes in them. Secure your thread to the clip by threading it through the holes and tying off.

Next, push the needle through the weft and stitch the hair right onto the clip. It's as simple as sewing a button on fabric.

This is what a single extention looks like (clip side down). To wear them, simply part your hair from the top of your ear, around the back of your head, to the top of your other ear. Then secure the hair above the part to the top of your head with a clip.

The extention barrettes look like little combs. You simply open the clip (by pressing in the middle), then slide the comb into your hair just below the part and then close the clip be pressing on the outter edges. Clip all four to six of your extentions in this fashion, starting just behind one ear and working your way around to the other. Once they are all in place, let down your own hair and style. Note that you cannot use a curling iron or hot rollers on synthetic hair -- it will melt.

Happy Halloween! And tune in next time to learn how to make Supergirl's boots.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

DAY 148

[Kate walks in door, sits on couch exhausted, and scratches Sid on belly. Sid dozes off. The following transpires.]

E: Did you see the notice?

Kate: What notice?

E: There was an armed robbery last night.

Kate: WHAT?! What notice?

E: It just said that two guys robbed somebody in front of an apartment around 10 last night. They had a gun. Another guy drove a get-away car.

Kate: Ohmygod. On our own block? Who was the notice from?

E: I dunno.

Kate: Was there a police logo? Was it from the HOA?

E: Uhhh... I dunno.

Kate: Lemme see the notice.

E: Just go look at it yourself. It's by the mailbox.

[Kate tromps out to mailbox and, seeing nothing, tromps back.]

Kate: There's nothing there. What did it say exactly?

E: I dunno. Just that.

Kate: You can't remember anything else?

E: Nope.

Kate: ....

Kate: Sometimes I want to stab you in the eyes.

Sid: Arf!

Kate: I didn't mean I'd literally stab him in the eyes, Sid.

Sid (relieved): Zzzzzzz.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

DAY 147

Alas another entire month has passed since I last reviewed my 101 in 1001. I am happy to report that once again I have stuff to check off.

11. Get a dog.

September 27, 2006 best dog in the universe acquired.

15. Find a new fabulous perfume.

September 3, 2006 Kai perfume oil delivered by very nice post man. Fabulous.

37. Take care of that effing Santa Monica City litigation or just admit defeat.

September 29, 2006 defeat admitted. (Not exactly how I imagined this item would get checked off, but there you have it).

81. Throw or attend a bonfire on the beach.

September 23, 2006 attended bon fire at Dockweiler State Beach. Note to Self: bonfires do not have exact addresses and thus they can require miles of trekking up and down the beach searching for bonfire that is NOT thrown by total strangers. As such, travel light.

Monday, October 02, 2006

DAY 146

This is Sid's favorite chew toy. I know it's her favorite because she hasn't peed on it.

House training is slow going. Don't get me wrong, she's a very smart dog. In four short days she's learned: (1) her name; (2) sit!; and (3) lay down. Not too shabby for a few days' work. But she still pees on the carpet whenever she thinks she can get away with it. I know what you're thinking: "well, only let her on the carpet AFTER she's peed." Yeah. We did that. She'll pee within one minute of peeing, if she feels so inspired. We've gone through... I dunno... a gallon of Nature's Miracle pet-stain-and-odor remover. I've also steam cleaned the entire carpet for good measure. I'm sure I'll do it again before the week is out.

She also hates her crate. I've heard people say that at some point in the crate-training phase their dog just starts loving the crate. "It's like her own little den ... blah blah blah," they say. Not Sid. She does not like the crate. She will eventually settle down and go to sleep but I can see that the crate will not be a permanent addition to the master suite. I honestly think she'd prefer to sleep alone in the kitchen. E insists that we continue with the crate.

On the upside, we had a visit from the plumber today and he informed us that (in his professional opinion) our puppy is incredibly well behaved. Woohoo! We've got one person fooled, Sid.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Random Product Endorsement

A while back I recommended a Febreeze product that smelled so great... I recant. That one fades fast. However, the eucalyptus & mint Method aroma pod is subtle, pretty, and long lasting. It's also available at Target. So there you have it.