Thursday, July 27, 2006

DAY 62

Time for your Project Runway update! I'm standing by my theory that Laura, Vincent and Angela are going to be on the show for a long time just because they have blatantly dysfunctional personalities and not because they have talent.

I realize that, in the category of "No Talent But Crazy So Let's Keep 'Em On The Show," Laura is not necessarily an obvious choice. But allow me to demonstrate. First, she only designs in shades of white and she has all of TWO design elements (count 'em: one, two). Laura's first design element is a BIG FURRY COLLAR. Witness her project from episode one which is a white and grey coat with a BIG FURRY COLLAR.

Now, witness her third project, a white and beige number with a BIG FURRY COLLAR (you can't see the dog coat clearly in this shot but trust me his coat has a matching BIG OLE FURRY COLLAR):

Laura's second design element is SPANGLES. Which she employed in her first project (see the round mirrors, a.k.a. SPANGLES, all over the white coat above) and in her second project: a white dress with smaller SPANGLES all over it:

Laura's creations aren't hideous; they are just incredibly limited and repetitive. What is hideous is the way Laura treated her dog muse this week. She acted as if it were a rotting corpse. I'm a firm believer that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat animals. And speaking of hideous... let's look at Angela's crap project from last night:

What else is there to say (I mean, once you get the gagging under control)?

Let's turn to Vincent. His projects are either ugly or boring or, like last night, both:

Oh gee, Vincent! How ever did you think up a simple black mini shift? Were you thinking: "You know what tank tops need? A flared hem!" I'm pretty sure that is just about all you were thinking. That, and: "I'm a genius with hats!" And then you probably broke into that creepy maniacal giggling fit that clamps down on my spinal chord.

But were any of these three cut? Nope. They cut poor Katherine for her blah dress despite the fact that she made an adorable hoodie for the pooch -- and that was after all half the challenge. Katherine was expendable and that's the real reason she was cut. She wasn't going to be Final Three and she isn't a nut job so that made her a primo target.

My Final Three are still in the running and this week Uli actually won. Keith is turning into a Santino (he refused to design for his dog and he actually lied to the judges about creating four outfits for the dog that he allegedly ultimately rejected). Keith's annoying behavior is a pity because his designs are gorgeous, wearable, and beatifully executed. Of course, crazy attitude and talent can take you to the finals (as we've seen over and over) so it's not a bad ploy. Robert (I heart Robert!) made a gorgeous Channel-inspired ensemble that was spot on (as always).

The big news from last night is, of course, that somebody is getting kicked off the show for breaking the rules. They've been teasing us with this since before the season premiere but now it looks like next week will be the big reveal. I so hope it's Laura. But I'm sure it's not. It's probably Bonnie or Michael or somebody who gets almost no love from the producers anyway. Can't wait!

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